Observations on Life

Freedom

Posted on April 15, 2016 by sussan kaye

My husband and I are selling our house after 22 years. The house has been good to us, a tranquil space close to friends, surrounded by green forest, containing critters to keep us amused . . . and sometimes anxious. Think snakes in the crawlspace. We have been good to the house in return–fixing it up to bring out the beauty of the over-sized rooms, high ceilings, beams and lots of light.

We decided to have a moving sale to get rid of stuff that won’t fit into our smaller place. My husband has a birdcage. This cage has followed us from marriage through moves to Ohio and then to Georgia. The cage is over-sized and made of wood, the old-fashioned kind. It’s not in the best of shape–two of the small slats are broken, and the door is stuck open. During set up for the sale, he placed it on top of a shelving unit and put a sold sign on it.

birdcage

Now I’ve wondered about this cage and often thought, “There’s that birdcage. We haven’t gotten rid of it yet?”

During the sale, several people inquired about it.

He smiled and said, “It’s already sold.”

However, one of our friends persisted. “Are you sure it’s sold? Why didn’t the person take it? How much did they pay? I’ll pay more.”

Finally, my husband said, “I’ll never sell the cage because it represents freedom.”

“Freedom? How so?”

“You see the open door? Whenever I’ve felt trapped in a situation and unsure what to do, I look at the cage with it’s wide open door, and I realize I can leave. I change or move or do something different. I don’t have to stay where I am. I can be free.”

Our friends, neighbors and even service people say, “But we love your house. Won’t you miss it?”

We do love and will miss The Ranch as we call it, but it’s time for someone else to love on it so we can try something new.

Concussion

Posted on February 3, 2016 by sussan kaye

Football season is almost over. Only one game left. SuperBowl 50 between the Carolina Panthers and the Denver Broncos in California. Hopefully, a good game with a close finish. Meanwhile, the other players go home, catch up with family and friends and nurse injuries.

Brain injuries are the issue the movie Concussion, which stars Will Smith as Dr. Owalu. Dr. Owalu is a smart, inquisitive pathologist who discovers a pattern of serious brain injuries in former pro-football players. The premise of the movie is that football is a dangerous sport. The players may willingly sign up for the knee injuries, ankle fractures and other orthopedic problems, but the players are also at risk for traumatic brain injury due to repetitive brain trauma and may not be aware. The NFL is portrayed as a corporate entity that knew some of the retired players were displaying symptoms similar to dementia but covered it up to protect profits. Broadly, the big corporation is arrayed against a little guy willing to blow the whistle on a problem the corporation is well aware of.

The movie is slow going initially, but when Mike Webster (played by David Morse), a well-loved former Pittsburgh Steeler dies suddenly, the movie finds it footing. Mike Webster’s autopsy finding lead to the discovery of these traumatic brain injuries dubbed CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy). At first worried about the future of football, the NFL tries to silence Dr. Owalu. After all, dementia can’t be fixed with surgery, pills or some therapy. As one character says, “If even 10% of mothers don’t allow their sons to play football, it’s the end of pro-football.” But once another well-known player, a part of the NFL establishment commits suicide, the momentum shifts toward acknowledgement of the problem.

The NFL has made efforts to dig deeper into CTE and figure out a way to make the game safer. Who knows? These efforts may stumble on a way to diagnose dementia sooner, which may lead to treatments to slow or reverse the disease. It’s in the league’s best interest to do so. There’s less emphasis on big hits. There’s no eye rolling or other demeaning comments when a player is kept out due to a concussion. Better helmet design has received more funding. Today, news reports said Ken Stabler, former quarterback, died of colon cancer but his brain autopsy showed severe CTE. His family spoke about symptoms consistent with dementia Mr. Stabler showed in the past few years.

I don’t see football going away anytime soon, though. It’s a great game to watch, moves quickly, and provides a career for a fair number of athletes. I’ll be watching the big game Sunday and critiquing the commercials along with all the other fans. But it may be that if the number of suspected cases of CTE prove true, more mothers may say no to football.

Pen Names

Posted on January 4, 2016 by sussan kaye

I read this essay “Why Writers Need Pen Names” by Wade Rouse published in PW magazine. He explains his reasons for using a pen name for his first novel, The Charm Bracelet. The story is centered around a charm bracelet similar to one his grandmother wore. He uses his grandmother’s name as his pen name in her honor. He explores other well know pen names such as JK Rowling and JD Robb.

Having a pen name is freeing. JD Robb and JK Rowling tried new genres their main audiences might not appreciate. I can tell stories as someone else outside my roles of wife, sister, daughter or friend. As this other person, a writer, my characters can speak in a language I don’t know, use swear words I cringe to say, or go through experiences I may relate to but never have.

My friend and critique partner who writes as Lorraine Tate said it best. “A pen name silences the critic in your head. The one who imagines what your friends or your relatives or your church members might think.”

What do you think?

Super Bowl XLIV

Posted on February 3, 2015 by sussan kaye

New England vs. Seattle

The 2015 Super Bowl is over, and the New England Patriots won. Oh, well. I was rooting for the Seattle Seahawks. I find the amount of attention attached to the Super Bowl each year fascinating. Captive audience, varied demographics, a sport everyone at least recognizes even if they don’t follow or understand – an advertiser’s dream. I am old enough to remember when there was no such thing as a Super Bowl, but that’s another post.

Before the game, I went to my local Publix, got a grocery cart (they’re call buggies here but having been raised in the Midwest, I have not taken to the term) and headed into the store. I knew it would be crowded based on the number of cars in the parking lot. Sure enough, the line at the deli counter was fifteen deep. I noted that my fellow shoppers’ carts had varying amounts of food, drinks, and other items. Some were post church folks stocking up for the week, but most were game folks sent on a mission to retrieve items for the Super Bowl party. I saw a fair number of men with cell phones held to the ear, frowns on faces, looking at shelves for whatever the person on the other end of the phone had directed them to buy.

Major events and holidays in the US center on food – Thanksgiving at number one followed by Christmas, New Years, Memorial Day, and 4^th of July. The Super bowl is not a holiday but an event, and food is a large part. Chips, dips, wings, sausages, pizza, soda, beer, ice cream and cupcakes – a nutritionist’s nightmare. As a nation, I think we look forward to these days, and the food associated, because they are the few times during the year where you can eat what you want in the company of others eating just as much food of poor nutritional value as you and not feel guilty about it. In fact, it’s encouraged.

The ads in the newspapers and on television for two to three weeks before the Super Bowl implore shoppers to come to their stores for whatever it takes to throw a good bash. You might buy a new TV or new furniture, but you definitely need food. Part of the reason football withdrawal happens is not only losing the games to watch, but the food that goes with it.

We were invited to a friend’s house. He typically throws a combination birthday-Super Bowl party. The main television room spectators had divided into the New England camp on one side and the Seahawks camp on the other. The emotion and trash talking associated with each score for either team kept spirits high and attention, for the most part, on the game. A close game makes for the best Super Bowl, and Sunday’s game did not disappoint. The last minute interception by New England galvanized that camp.

The food came in a close second to the game. The spread was immense, mostly Jamaican dishes – curry, jerk chicken, gumbo, fish stew, and several others with birthday cake, cupcakes, and brownies for dessert. The food was delicious, and I ate my fair share.

Today, New England is rejoicing, Seattle is vowing next year, and I’m back to watching what I eat and drink as I write this post. I’m sure I’m not alone.

Noah

Posted on April 29, 2014 by sussan kaye

Easter has come and gone. I find it interesting this year there were three movies with spiritual themes released around Easter — Son of God, Noah, and Heaven is For Real. I grew up watching The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston playing Moses. The very best scene was the parting of the Red Sea. Impressive special effects for the time. My sisters and I would ooh and ahh.

This year, I went to see Noah. The movie tells the story of Noah, his family, and building the ark. The special effects were quite impressive, well beyond those of The Ten Commandments. And the movie answered questions I had wondered about when told the story in Bible class. How did he build an ark big enough to hold all these creatures? In the movie, he has supernatural help. How did he keep natural enemies apart? The species arrive together. Birds as one, insects as one (couldn’t live with bugs but I understand the need for them), reptiles as one, mammals as one. Imagine the noise. How did he keep them all quiet? Noah and his wife, a healer, developed an inhalational anesthetic that put the animals to sleep. Nitrous oxide might be the modern equivalent.

Epic movies have a villain. In The Ten Commandments, it was the Pharaoah and his army. In Noah, the villain is Tubal-cain, a descendant of Cain – a sociopath, thief, and someone not above murder to get his way. He raises an army for an unsuccessful attack on the ark though Tubal-cain manages to sneak aboard to set up the final battle between good and evil.

Noah is a man under pressure – from the knowledge of the planned attack, by the schisms in his family as the ark nears completion but, mostly, from the demands of God. While the family relationships depicted are artistic license, I hadn’t considered that aspect of the story before.

The world Noah inhabits is represented by the villain – one of violence and war, of not protecting the earth, of power used to take from, abuse and kill others. There are definite parallels to the present.

When the rains start and the floods follow and the people drown, Noah and his family must listen to the screams outside the ark before the sounds die away. It is not pretty.

The overarching message of the movie is to love one another and protect the earth. Perhaps, the changes in weather patterns, with greater droughts, floods, and harsh winters, and the greater numbers of species endangered or dying out, added to the current climate of war and strife, is a prelude to a larger cataclysmic event that might result in man dying out. We would do well to heed the warning.

Spring Is Here!

Posted on March 21, 2014 by sussan kaye

Spring at last! Longer days. More sunshine. Bluer skies. Flowers and flowering trees. March 20 is the first official day of spring and the vernal equinox. The Almanac provides interesting details about the vernal equinox.

Atlanta has true four seasons. In my first blog post, I vented about Atlanta’s handling of snow, but spring is the season Atlanta does well. There are innumerable flowering trees in the city and surrounding suburbs—cherry, crabapple, redbuds, Bradford pear, dogwood and others—each bearing beautiful blossoms.

The first flowering trees are cherry and crabapple. Small buds appear and gradually increase in size until blossoms pop out. Soon, forsythia’s bright yellow flowers appear then daffodils and Bradford pears. Mixed in are budding oak, cedar, and maple trees. The buds turn to small leaves quickly. By mid-March, the clocks have been turned forward, there are warmer, sunnier days and spring is well entrenched. The foliage softens the hard edges of the landscape, the coldness of the buildings and provides pops of color in unexpected places. We can look forward to the delicate beauty of Japanese cherry blossoms, rich pink magnolias, bright pink and white dogwoods and azaleas in many hues.

While the calendar designates March 20 as the first day of spring, Atlantans know our spring began toward the end of February. As an escapee from the north, I LOVE IT!

BRADFORD PEAR

Flowers as Messengers

Posted on February 13, 2014 by sussan kaye

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. February 14. While Hallmark and others have taken the day and commercialized it to an inordinate degree, the day began as a festival of love in honor of Saint Valentine, a martyr in the Christian Church. During the Victorian era, hearts, flowers, and chocolate became associated with Valentine’s Day.

I am an avid audio book listener, given the commutes in Atlanta, and frequently choose books I would not necessarily buy, but the title or the jacket blurb intrigues me. I recently listened to The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh. The characters use flowers to express their feelings, a practice that began in the Victorian era when flower dictionaries were popular. The main character in the novel, Victoria, and the author develop their own flower dictionaries, each discovering that flowers could have multiple meanings and unhappy with those available. In the novel, there is an exchange between Victoria and Grant, her love interest, where the two trade flowers back and forth, she to keep him at bay; he to draw her closer. Gradually, Victoria realizes she has a gift and develops a wedding flowers business centered around each bride and groom’s hopes for their marriage using the flowers chosen to convey this sentiment. Is it the flowers or the talking through of the bride and groom’s view of marriage in the presence of a neutral party that helps the couples? The reader wonders. The language the author uses is vibrant and rich, the characters so well drawn I became quite irritated with Victoria at one point in the story when I felt she made several wrong choices.

So when you pick flowers for this Valentine’s Day, pause to consider the message. Did you pick yellow roses thinking friendship when you are suggesting infidelity? A white rose because you liked the color when you are saying instead you have a heart unacquainted with love? Do you like violets? Do you really consider yourself only of modest worth?

I love flowers. My favorites are red (love) and pink (grace) roses and tulips (declaration of love). If I get yellow or red carnations or nettles, I will know to beware.

Vanessa Diffenbaugh’s Flower Dictionary

About Flowers

The Language of Flowers

January 29, 2014

Posted on January 29, 2014 by sussan kaye

It snowed in Atlanta yesterday. Roughly two inches and the fall out (sorry!) continues. As a city, the governor, mayor and residents all pretend we know how to deal with snow. We don’t. We can’t. And we never will. It doesn’t snow enough year to year. The last big snow we had in 2011 turned from snow to ice, and we were iced in for a week.

This year when the snow began falling, schools and business remained open. The weather folks reinforced the fact it was snowing, and everyone looked outside.

“Oh, my gosh! It’s snowing and hard!”
“We need to close now! Parents come pick up your kids.”

What happens when metro Atlantans get on the road at the same time? A predictable jam on the expressways and major streets. Rush hour here is bad enough on a daily basis when we drivers stagger the times we head home from work and school. But all at the same time? Think Halloween trick or treating on a school night. As I write this, there are still unfortunate individuals stranded in vehicles, cars abandoned on the freeways, students in shelter at schools and a rolling gridlock, thanks to the iced over streets from yesterday’s snow.

One day our governor, mayor and we Atlantans will get it. We’ll embrace the fact we aren’t in Minneapolis, Chicago, or New York. We don’t have enough snow removal, salting or other snow equipment. And taxpayers won’t foot the bill for plows that aren’t used but every 3-4 years.

So, next time it’s going to snow, governor and mayor, declare a State of Emergency. Put the word out on the news and social media — stay home until further notice. Sleep late, make a big breakfast, play outside with your kids. Build snowmen. Sled. Anything! But PLEASE stay home and off the roads!